Mind vs Heart


why can’t i forget? I thought we were over, done with, but somehow a force of unknown always brought us back together. What does it mean to finally grasp the one is there no other? Must the struggle and sorrow in our life shows who is worthy to be next to or by your side? Week after week i will fall to the point of no return but only a word only the sound of your voice can bring me back up because its you that this disgusting cold ice heart yearns for. No matter how long or what happens our severed bonds will reconnect. Too much obstacles which seems like these feelings aren’t even optional which causes me to believe everything that happened was bullshiet. My mind says one thing but my heart thinks different telling me i should still try to make this bond more perfect 

vicky


Forgetting you is one thing but to erase you from my heart,mind, and soul is another. Ripping the memories from within and desperately reaching out for more happiness but creating more sins. I want you but cant have you, need you but our kins indifferent minds are cutting our love like a string in two. Suicidal? Never but repeating the same mistakes over like a recital. Just like a play we come together with joy however forcefully been tampered with, to the point where we must ignore each other dealing with the pain when we both know we cant handle it. Just like a star our love shines with bright lights, then again it must vanish, moving forward as our hearts are kept on being damaged

.


So here I am again. My scalpel is a pen
I’m dissecting every sentence to unravel what’s within.
This battle never ends, and I’ve been grappling ever since
There were days I “couldn’t walk” as if my tassel never switched
And now I figure that the mission’s only bigger
I’m fixed upon the vision, but division’s only bitter. 
I drifted then I slipped into the fissure of my prison
But before I even hit it, He delivered my forgiveness. 
I took the train and made my way into the city
'Cause the traffic makes me think more than I want to
I’m waiting for a stranger that will be my revelation
'Cause my brain is too dishonest for its own good
I’m twenty three, still naive to the procedures:
Like asking for a show of hands to seats of open bleachers
I’m hardly confident, at least, I’m only eager
To trying to make a leader out this heap of broken features

Every time I played and tangled with the slavery
I always faked a way to set examples with my bravery
I’m so ashamed, chains generate so painfully
Father, take the yeast: Father take it out my bakery
I want strength, now I’m chasing with relentless
Effort that will desolate my selfish independence
Made it on my own, but I know I could’ve grown
Into the man that He wanted but I chose to be alone
My will to be corrected is like the Spring without the daisies:
The will in my reflection’s like a swing without a base hit
At twenty-three I never thought I’d stumble while I’ve aimlessly
Spilled my recollection of the things I’d never say to me:
I find it’s cutest how deluded you’ve produced conclusions
Think you’re rooted yet obscure with your secluded movements
You’re pretty stupid looking thinking that you’re “suited”
But your “seven deuce” is useless on the “river,” (and you’re fruitless)
Who you fooling? Who you kidding? Why you trying to lie?
Where you looking? What’s your mission? What you trying to hide?
And from the start I knew these words were never mine.
And from the heart, I knew these rhymes were… “never mind” (never mine)
Broken like the fixture of silver that trimmed the mirror
When the fear of my interior split it into its slivers
More than just a battle, truly every waking movement’s
Like the blues and every wavelength vaguely adjacent to it
I know it’s foolish, but expecting takes practice
I took upon my faith, equipped, and dispatched it
God granted passage in seas for thick masses
(So I’m) Wishing for a spectrum in the midst of pitch blackness

Former sense of preparation turns illusion 
When the milestones are too large to lift than they used to
Can’t live without you, my God, I want to face You…
Twenty-three prayers from a kid who longs to break through

Father, please forgive me for the arrogance that scars me
And bear within me fruit on every terrace of my heartbeat
Take my selfish, turn it into selfless
And show me the true meaning of repentance
I want to give praise to Your name, but distracted by praises of others
Change my aim, lens, focus, and shutter
Please forgive the fact at times my faith is trapped in the gutter
Please forbid the acts of sin and all its powerful clutches
Please heal the broken baggage that I carry voluntarily 
And bury all its merit and the weight that be impairing me
Purify my heart: dismiss the clutches of the briar
Melt away my sickness… I trust in the Messiah
So take away my craving for the lust and the desire
And toss it in the furnace: make it bust within the fire
Speak to me Your Will, and Father teach me how to be in it
Take from me my all: for you say there is no median
Place me on the narrow path for when I stray in deviance
And take away whatever if it keeps me in obedience
Forgive my: anger, impatience, and pride
Forgive those anchors that lay deep inside
I want to be man You called me to be.
And experience the freedom- how you bought it for me.
Talking is cheap. So Father, put your arms around me
So I could show em through my life of how you’re conscious of me
Bless my: family, fans, and all my friends
And show Yourself again and again

Love…


Im cut deep.. why is it so hard for u to choose between us two am i ur toy? crying in my sleep. heart aches a world full of fakes. my heart is not something u can just throw away cause once its gone, that missing piece, that open space will show hatred, face it  ur happily takened, yet still have the audacity to come to me. Ive become a fool happily to let u use why? because of this so called love whats worse is that it has courrupted my body mind and soul and the pain has been injected deep within my bones but i shall wait because without u, i wont be myself but a mindless animal hungry for ur love 

If you find your mind trying to kill what your heart is keeping alive, let it die

:) crush


just being in ur presence gives me the energy to continue to move forward. Instead of drowning myself with my own depression u gave me a path dissimating the shattered pieces. seperating these dark emotions keeping my thoughts in place to focus of what has become around me. Thank u for being there and helping me without even realizing it because ur existence is enough to eliminate this dark abyss that has been found inside me. It has been created into another substance filling the cracks mended into happiness

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

Forreal

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

Forreal

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

lol

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

lol

(Source: pinkpoiseon)

understand me


u can hate me, ignore me, and have an act of silence… but please look at me because the lines ”i do care” is define by ones eyes. If u cant even face my appearance then what are these lingering feelings that i have holding on tightly and ferociously as if in my mind there is a little bit of hope. as if the story will still continue on and unfolds a secret chapter of emotions. But currently it is filled with emptiness a feeling so exquisite that only u can fix only u can determine happiness or sorrow that is locked deep within the abyss that is my <3

“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man–given. Be grateful. Conceit is self–given. Be careful.”

John Wooden (via itsquoted)

So true